Monday, August 25, 2008


Recently a friend share a frustration involving her being imposed upon by family. It involved a situation whereby her own mother was calling daily asking her to do things for her and for her Grandmother. This is all well and good until it reaches the point of inconsideration. It had in this case. Here is my response to her.

On G'mama and the toilet paper: I am glad you went over there and took the toilet paper; and I am especially glad you spent the time with her. At that age (97) and living in an elder-care facility, their world is so very, very small and closing in on them daily. You expanded it for her and brightened it a bit. Being asked by your Mom to take toilet paper was a bit much, but going and doing something special for your G'mama was wonderful! Glad you enjoyed taking your own time to give her a little more quality time.

On your Mom: I'm pretty close to the same age. I try not to call upon my kids to do anything for me. When I do it is something I think they will recognize as valid. Her request that you care for her little critter during a storm (critter was an insider) while she was out of town is a bit much. Animals are meant to fend for themselves in weather of all types. Why, they are even suppose to find their own food! Of course, that is prior to man's domestication of the critters. Now if your Mom felt she could travel to friends and far away places, she probably took care of the feeding of her little critter. God will take care of the frightened critter during the storm. So you did a good thing by not trying to cope with doggie's fear factor and staying out of the fray.

On being taken advantage of by family: Consider family as your nucleus here on Earth for consistency. If it is going go "consist" (my coined word usage), then we are responsible to make it consist - stay together. However, we have to recognize that each member of the family needs to have time on their own. Time to think. Time to relax. Time to reflect. Time to mend. Time to unwind. Etc., etc., etc. This day was to be your's to do all these things as you needed to do them. You Mom was being unrealistic. Is she typically this way? Is this a new factor in her life or behavior?

Each of you will have to deal as you can with situations peculiar to your individual families. You need to remember, though, that each of you must do your part to hold the family together. But you must each carve time out for yourself in order to remain sane and healthy.

Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. Luke 6:31

Do that which is right and good in the site of the Lord. Deuteronomy 6:18

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